William surveys the crowd, which is made up mostly of DL ''homo thugs,'' black guys dressed like gangsters and rappers baggy jeans, do-rags, and FUBU jackets.Īs I look out onto the dance floor, I can't help doing the math. Still, it's one of the most popular hangouts for young black men on the DL in Atlanta. More than anything, the place feels like a rundown loft where somebody stuck a bar and a dance floor and called it a club. Sufficiently stoned, the guys decide to make an appearance at the Palace.
Since they generally don't see themselves as gay, there is nothing to ''come out'' to, there is no next step. While DL guys regard the closet as something alien a sad, stifling place where fearful people hide, the closet can be temporary many closeted men plan to someday ''come out''.īut black men on the DL typically say they're on the DL for life. But for all their supposed freedom, many men on the DL are as trapped - or more trapped - than their white counterparts in the closet. Kelly, meaning ''secret'' - has a sexy ring to it, a hint that you're doing something wrong that feels right. Like the black athletes and rappers they idolize, DL men convey a strong sense of masculine independence and power: I do what I want when I want with whom I want. As William says, DL culture does place a premium on pleasure.Īnd there is a certain freedom in not playing by modern society's rules of self-identification, in not having to explain yourself, or your sexuality, to anyone. I ask them what the difference is between being on the DL and being in the closet. You don't hear black people say, 'Oh yeah, he's gay, but he's still a real man, and he still takes care of all his responsibilities. It might hurt you some, but it's not like if you're black and gay, because then it's like you've let down the whole black community, black women, black history, black pride. Do I look gay to you? Masculinity is a surprisingly effective defense, because until recently the only popular representations of black gay men were what William calls ''drag queens or sissies.
If you're masculine and a guy thinks you're checking him out, you can always say: 'Whoa, chill, I ain't checking you out. William parks the car in a secluded lot about a block from the Palace.Īs he breaks out some pot, I ask them if they heard about what happened recently at Morehouse College, where one black student beat another with a bat supposedly for looking at him the wrong way in a dormitory shower. To them, it is the safest identity available - they don't risk losing their ties to family, friends and black culture. And as DL culture expands, it has become an open secret.įor many men on the Down Low, including William and Rakeem, the DL label is both an announcement of masculinity and a separation from white gay culture. Today, though, an increasing number of black men who have sex only with men identify themselves as DL, further muddying an already complicated group identity. While Rakeem and William proudly proclaim themselves on the Down Low, they wouldn't have been considered on the DL when men first started claiming the label in the mid's.īack then the culture was completely under the radar, and DL men lived ostensibly heterosexual lives complete with wives and girlfriends but also engaged in secret sexual relationships with men.
His family wouldn't know, either, if a vindictive friend hadn't told them. He says he's ''an urban black gay man on the DL,'' which he says reflects his comfort with his sexuality but his unwillingness to ''broadcast it.